I am in an ocean, the waves a continual bobbing motion.

I can keep up sometimes but my legs are overworked.

Often times it is a struggle to keep my head above water.

There is occasional buoyancy and ease and even bliss.

This is my life.

Who knows if and when I'll sleep.

I do my best to stay fed and hydrated.

My body feels the pulls of unfamiliar commitment.

I'm anxious trying to make sure this baby is thriving.

I’m in this fully and completely.

What have I done?

Who am I now?

I cry for all I have lost, unable to see all I have become...

 

My transformation is complete.  I can fold up my Meta Mamma wings in a delicate fabric of preservation.  I’ll store them in a safe place to offer to my daughter one day if she too cocoons.

 

Now where was I..?

 

You will never be who you once were but it is all still a part of you.

 

I take my wooden broom and sweep the dusty road of my old existence. I kapalabhati to remove any dust that may have entered the lungs. I inhale deeply all the way to the pit of the belly. The prana I inhale pays homage to the host that brought life into the world. I exhale completely, saying goodbye, and the majestic prana clears all the dust on the road. Although now I see there is no road. It is my mat. I take a seat. I sit in Lotus. I close my eyes, one hand to the belly and one to the heart, honoring who I have been, who I have become.  I sit and breathe. In stillness I listen:

 

How can I serve?

 

Thus began a new birth, a service to moms heading into and going through the postpartum experience.

 

In gratitude, I join you as you journey into motherhood.

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